Steven

You towering toothpick man’s man, you.
You ooze machismo like Iggy shirtless,
like a Nick Cave lyric, like an open can of Pabst
shotgunned at a firing range. You come
from a land whose name means China
in Spanish, where chickens once caged
now are mandated by law to peck at the ground freely.
You devoured a rare steak festooned in bacon
with asparagus as garnish
right in front me
with no intent of sharing.

You cavorted with drunk broads of indeterminate ages
at nautically themed bars,
not seeing anything wrong with a little bump and grind.
You openly listened to Nu-Metal and sang and strummed Nico,
Tyler Durdened as manager of a movie theater, Don Drapered
the fuck outta college, Warhol’d yourself a well-deserved art degree,
and broke the bronco that is prosody in all the ways I wish I could. 

Fuck the Dos Equis guy, you’re thee most interesting man alive.