Down a green pipe, I crawl through the shit
of a nation of demon turtles and walking mushrooms
to find you.
Me, a mere mustachioed portly plumber
with my given name the same as my surname, rides
an unruly and ravenous dinosaur through
deceptively cartoonish battlefields
to free you and your people.
With only my slightly taller and svelte brother
to aid in this quest,
raccoon suits and capes are dawned to take flight.
My life and size dependant on colored mushrooms I eat.
Breaking bricks with my head,
shooting flames from my hands
and tossing uprooted turnips;
I vanquish an empire.
to find that you aren’t even in this motherfucking castle.
Color Bars Are The New Dry Bars
1 year ago